Time to carve up the worst fashion fads

09.02.12

Before the serious enliven of Black Friday power shopping, holiday decorating, dole-picking overload and end-of-the-year time crunches takes its loss, let's sit back and reflect on something that's not so serious.</p><p> We give you the Fifth Annual Fashion Turkey Awards. These are items that buttress our mirth. These are items we consider fads in the worst substance of the word - popular for being popular, worn without consideration and therefore uninspired. In transitory, these are trends we wish would go away.</p><p> First on our list is HairUWear or any other breed of the oddly hued clip-on wiglets. The last straw for us in ushering this spin-off onto our list of 2011 Fashion Turkeys was the introduction of the being print extension. The 1-inch clip-in extensions ($10) are in shades of neon pink, ginger and energized blue tiger stripes. We didn't actually brainpower the Native American vibe of the clip-in feathers (until there were reports of feather shortages and people raiding fishing shops to divest oneself of lures), but this is the usual modus operandi of a fashion turkey.</p><p> People don't remember when to say when. If a slim feather is nice, a neon purple tiger slash must be better, right? Wrong. This must stop now, or we'll have people with faux dinosaur bones hanging from their mane next. The feathers had a moment. That moment has officially expired. Anything else is unprejudiced too painful to consider.</p><p> And speaking of painful, the latest mode fad term is "jweats," and if you're thinking "oh, no, it can't be" then you've unquestionably guessed that this is a jeans-sweatpant hybrid. We're sorry to notify you that you can now purchase Diesel Jogg jeans ($195). Plainly jeggings (jean leggings) just weren't shady enough. Considering that jeans are already leisure attire, I'm not sure why we needed to set upon them more comfy.</p><p> If you're in the market for jeans that look like sweatpants, you'll unquestionably love my new line of cocktail dresses that look like blarney night gowns. We here on the fashion turkey team don't intend that sweatpants should be worn outside of the confines of your house. Making them out of denim doesn't interchange that, and in fact it makes it worse. J Brand's premium denim procedure also introduced a denim hybrid of stretchy slip-on pants and Joe's Jean Sweats ($158, the surpass of the worst) are sweatpants in fabric only, but the styling mimics time-honoured denim. However, this all just reminds us of last year's Hall of Glory fashion turkey - the pajama jean (denim-like pajamas that allegedly evolution from REM sleep to a shopping trip at your local mall, if you don't wisdom people pointing and staring).</p><p> Among the shoe trends that we ardour to hate are peep-toe, combat boots. Some are embellished with studs and spaced out heels, some are flat with straps and ties. I'm sure somewhere the contradictions of this look are what charm people. It's edgy, they think. Instead we call this self-consciously hip ... i.e., tragically overdone.</p><p> The scheme of these shoes and the tortured ensemble that must accompany them is not what fashion should be. It's not a self-representation, it's a blatant display of "look how cool I am," you can see my toes in my defy boots. "Get it, combat boots are supposed to be inflexible, but I wear them with a fresh pedicure." There is a girl who can get these off, but something tells us that she is waiting for everyone else to stop wearing these shoes before she pulls them out of her closet again.</p><p> Impressionable surgery gone mad. Maybe it's the ubiquitousness of Carson Kressley and the legions of people with immobile foreheads and inordinately taunt facial skin, but plastic surgery is noticeably booming. The key consultation there is "noticeably." Maybe the clients are disregardful, or maybe they plain don't care, but they should know that we are disturbed by the look, and we probably aren't the only ones. If you have had your boobs, eyes, cheeks altered, more than one individual has noticed. We discuss it openly but probably not with you, we don't think any ill of you, but it's the rare-rare-rare oppose that this piece of gossip ends with, "...and she/he looks so flagrant."</p><p> This year we were introduced to chintox (yep, Botox for unappealing chins), umbilicoplasty (belly button surgery - get the innie you always wanted, the gather release touts "create a more youthful looking belly button") and dimple plasty (yes, you can have the "quintessential crafty facial feature"). These procedures are estimated at $2,000 to $5,000. We can over of many more fulfilling and self-affirming things to do with that kind of investment. If you can't muse on of any, I'll be happy to consult for a nominal fee.</p><p> And to round out this year's turkeys of extra, I give you another watch gone wrong. One of the Jacob &#38; Co watches sported by David Beckham, who most often dresses quite impeccably. It costs $10,800 and has not one, not two, not three, not... OK, it has five watch over faces on it and five watch stems to wind each of the five faces. FIVE. Evidently, it's so that you can keep up with five different time zones. But who needs to walk around with the divider from Grand Central Station on their wrist?</p><p> I asked a guy backer to look at a photo of the pentagon-shaped watch, and he was not appalled. In occurrence, he kind of liked it. He admired its masculine heft. Our turkey scouting commission was not swayed by this. This watch is ridiculous. It loses its function as a note when you have to carefully consider which one is set to your time zone. The tiny dials are all the same enormousness, although each is marked with city labels, such as "Toyko," "L.A.," "New York" and "Paris." But take place on, really? Isn't that what iPhone apps are for? We love a statement be vigilant for, it's the most prominent piece of jewelry a typical guy can subscribe to, but you don't crave to make this statement.</p><p> Well, now that we've gotten that off our chests, let's gander at our 2011 Way Swans. Trends tend to balance out from year to year and inclusive, we're happy that, in our estimation at least, the good trends are still winning (and, no, not in a Charlie Brightness kinda way).</p><p> - New sweater shapes. We are loving the serene knits with asymmetrical hems, sleeves that bell and fit, and the nontraditional cowl-meets-row-boat necks. A particular favorite is anything cashmere like this extract from Garnet Hill ($158) in an asymmetrical shape that shuns all squares. It has three-three months sleeves and a flattering tunic length. The right mix of fix and facility.</p><p> - Bali retro high-waisted half go by escape. Shapewear continues to have a moment, and if it's the go-to staple of every Hollywood starlet, who are we to keep it. Many of them are so enthused that they are wearing their undies as outerwear. (That's definitely a turkey, even if you're a escarpment star. People look better in bottoms that aren't society suits. Yes, even Beyonce and Lady Gaga.)</p><p> - Capes. What's not to inamorata about a flattering outer layer that is warm and cozy. It's technically a mini-slanket without the sleeves, but we're not focusing on that. We're enthralled. It looks great with elbow-length leather gloves and that makes it wonderful in our eyes. Some dissuade that they aren't the most flattering item, but after a few holiday dinners this might be the most fulsome item we own.</p><p> - Wool jacket/leather sleeves. Gesticulate us up. Actually, any of the contrast sleeving going on is fine with us. It's a best way to change a silhouette. Wool coats and casual jackets with unexpected sleeves in another dusk of wool or a different texture than the body have a slightly futuristic look that tends to loam on the right side of the swan/turkey divide.

Source: Kansas City Star

Time to carve up the worst fashion fads

09.02.12

Before the serious pep up of Black Friday power shopping, holiday decorating, pourboire-picking overload and end-of-the-year time crunches takes its damages, let's sit back and reflect on something that's not so serious.

We give you the Fifth Annual Fashion Turkey Awards. These are items that energize our mirth. These are items we consider fads in the worst detect of the word — popular for being popular, worn without compensation and therefore uninspired. In short, these are trends we wish would go away.

First on our file is HairUWear or any other variety of the oddly hued clip-on wiglets. The last straw for us in ushering this consequence onto our list of 2011 Fashion Turkeys was the introduction of the mammal print extension. The 1-inch clip-in extensions ($10) are in shades of neon pink, ginger and thrilling blue tiger stripes. We didn't actually do not give a second thought to the Native American vibe of the clip-in feathers (until there were reports of feather shortages and people raiding fishing shops to get undressed lures), but this is the usual modus operandi of a fashion turkey.

Source: STLtoday.com